The Problem…

The challenge to be teachable: Early on as kids, we pick up that if we know it all, we are respected, and can be placed in a position of authority, like an adult, and that makes us feel important–it makes us feel special. The danger is most kids will say they know something when they really don’t, because they don’t want to be looked down on, or feel foolish, which makes them feel the opposite of special.

So what do you do? The best way to not be seen as a fool is to admit you don’t know. Even if you have heard something similar from someone else, admit you don’t know, and ask the person to teach you. 

The truth is, the person asking the questions is in control of the conversation–not whoever is doing the majority of the talking. Do you want to be in control of the conversation for real? You should. So how do you do that? You become the interviewer, and small talk becomes a thing of your past. So ask questions, listen, and ask more questions, and admit, “I didn’t know that before, thank you for sharing with me.” If you say you know, and it is made obvious that you actually don’t, you will feel embarrassed.

So be wise, and start by saying to yourself, “I came to learn, not to show off what I know. I am ready to listen, even if I hear something I have heard before, because I know that to become an expert, a true authority, I must become brilliant at the basics, and you become brilliant at the basics, by reviewing what you already know. So there is no harm in hearing something I already know, only benefits.”

So when someone starts saying something you have heard before, rather than tuning out, listen up to check for discrepancies in what you remember hearing before. Repetition is the key to mastering the basics. And take it from one who knows, sometimes it takes years for some things to sink in, and by reviewing the basics, suddenly, for whatever reason, it all clicks.